NOTE: I doubt this story will get much traction in the media because internal and external legal advisors will try to block it from going public. Trust me, they don't want the people to know this!
There are many programs out there which are funded through federal taxdollars. Some necessary, some questionable, and some down-right wrong.
For me and several thousands of other non-custodial parents, nothing has been more eye opening than Child Support enforcement. For the first 10 years I paid, I did so without argument or hesitation. Although I had a few issues with the Texas Office of the Attorney General (OAG) along the way, I felt it was my legal and moral obligation to pay it; and still is.
In July 2008, things took a turn for the worse and I started to learn how foul this child support process is. Here's my story.....
Dating back to 1998, my ex and I decide to foster/adopt a little girl through the Texas Department of Family & Protective Services (TDFPS). To do so, we had to pass a screening process and become certifed foster parents through the state. We began fostering her first, and even received moeny from the state to offset the cost of caring for her. In addition, the state also kept her on medicaid to ensure she has health coverage. Once the biological parent's gave up their rights, my wife and I chose to adopt her ourselves. The state paid for the adopting and continued to supply the monthly subsidy and healthcare.
About two weeks after we adopted her, my wife dropped a bombshell on me by electing an alternant lifestyle with another woman. Anyhow, I quit my job with the Texas Prison System and moved to New Mexico to start a new career. I filed for divorce and 1 year later it was final. In the divorce, it was ordered that I pay $425.00 a month in child support for three kids plus health care. The amount seemed small, but it was based on my income at the time. Add the additional monet she gets from the state, and she had enough to support the kids.
Years went by and my two sons became adults and were removed form the child support. By that time, the amount was reduced to $285.00 a month for my daughter. Add the additional $500.00 and there's plenty of money to raise one child in south Texas. That amount was left alone and neither one of us had an issue with it. At this point, the relationship between me my ex wife and kids was pretty stable.
When my daughter came to visit me in the summer of 2008, this all changed. During her stay, she informed me that her mom's new boyfriend hit her with a belt. I was outraged by this because I never administered this type of discipline on my kids, nor should any stranger. When I confronted my ex, she got mad and exclaimed that this man is her step father and he has the right to discipline. However, they are not married, nor are they even Common Law. And the Texas Family Law spells out who can administer corporal punishment of a child; a boyfriend is not one of them.
When I told my ex I would report her to TDFPS is she ever allowed that again. With a few choice words, she said she would just take me back for more child support. A few weeks later, I received a notice from the local child support office in Victoria, Texas staing that a claim had been filed to modify my support. When I explained to them that my ex was only retaliating for what I told her, the person I spoke with said it was a separate issue and they won't get involved.
The brochure they sent me was titled "Child Support Review Process." After reading the literature, it said this process was for parents who will willing to settle their differences without going to court. Neither party had to agree because the process was purely voluntarly. The woman I spoke with confirmed what was on the paper citing that parents can negotiate child support amounts, visitation, and modify the existing amount. When I asked the lady what happens if my ex doesn't agree to a specific amount, I was told she would have to get her own attorney and take me back to court. So, I agreed to participate.
A few months later, I received a phone call from the same office asking for my pay stubs. When I aksed why I need to turn those over, they lady said if I didn't then there wouldn't be any meeting at all and they would take me to court. Relunctly, I gave them what they asked for. On the day of the meeting, they were supposed to call me at my place of employment since I lived out of state. After 20 minutes passed the scheduled meeting time, I finally caled them. When the representing attorney answered the phone, she told me that the meeting was cancelled because I would not agree to them taking 20% of my net income. When I explined that the litature they sent me said the parents could negotiate the amount of child support, the attorney refused to acknowledge their own literature. She pointed out that the law said they would follow the child support guidelines. Once again, I pointed out that the letter said something different. She refused to comment on the issue and said I would be going to court. Then she terminated the discussion without my ex and I even speaking to each other.
I called back several times to see when I was to appear in court. Although a date was given, they refused to send me anything official. In one instance, I was even told that they could serve me the same day of court is they wanted too. I rebutted this statement by saying I live in Virgina and that would not be appropriate. His reponse; "not our problem". About a month before I was to appear in court, I contacted the clerk myself to confirm if I needed to be there. The clerk said I was scheduled and even had a copy of the notice to appear. I explined to her that I never received it and would like a copy. She indicated that an agency was hired by the OAG to serve me and the notice said they had made several attempts. Then, I explained that if I were trying to avoid being notified or going to court, I would not be calling her to make sure I needed to be there. She agreed!
When she emailed me the notice, there were several entries stating this local agency had tried to contact me. On one particular entry, they went so far as saying I was in the house, but would not answer the door. All other entries said there was no one home at all. The problem with this is that I was out of state they claimed I was home and had the plane tickets to prove it. On the other attempts, I was at work when they came by and had the time sheets to prove that at well. What is most disturbing is that the OAG knew when and where I worked, yet sent someone to my house knowing I would not be there.
Realizing I was in a no Win situation, I called the agency and just asked them to send me the papers so I could agree to what they wanted. However, I asked for a copy of their computation sheet so I would know how they calculated my income. The person I spoke with was their Ombudsman representative. She said she would work with the attorney to make it happen, but that I needed to send my most current pay stubs. When I explained the latest ones they had were the same and nothing has changed, she said they still needed them first. The obvious reason for demaing them was to determine if I made more money so they could increase the amount even further. I sent them anyhow, but they refused to send me the computation sheet. When I called back to speak to the Omsbudsman, the person representative on the phone denied my request stating there was no note in the computer that she needed to speak with me anymore.
When I appeared in court on Jan 2, 2009, the Asst Attorney General handling the case called me and my ex up to the table in front of the judge. Then she asked me if I received a copy of the notice to appear. I explained to her I had a copy, but was never served. She said as long as I had it, nothing else matters. Then she began to question me as to why I would not voluntarily sign the paper agreeing to 20% of my net income for may daughter. I told her it was an excessive amount and that my ex alreadt gets $500.00 a month from the state. Then she called me a "sad" person for not signing it. When I explained to her that the law says my ex and I could agree to an ammount different from the child support guidelines, she handed my ex a copy of my pay stubs and the amount she would get if she does not negotiate. Then, she coached my ex by stating "I don't believe Mrs Abildgaard wants to negotiate, isn't that right?". My ex looked down at the papers and eyes lit up. Then she responsed with, "No, I can't talk to him anymore."
The Asst AG handed me the same paper and the amount they were seeking was $1,202.00 a month. When I asked the lady tio have my ex explain how she would spend $1,700.00 a month on my child, the woman lashed out at me and stated "She don't have too". The woman also said I will continue to pay for health care even though my daughter has Medicaid, my private insurance has never been used, and my ex refused to even change the coverage.
Needless to say, I left court pretty upset over the ordeal. But, it has caused me to look deep into the process. This is what I found out:
1) Child Support Enforcement was created to reduce the amount of singkle parents on welfare and hold absent parents responsible.
The truth of the matter:
---Only those who were stay at home mom's, or had low income jobs actually qualified for assistance.
---Women who were involved with men who don't hold jobs or are in prison, still qualify for assistance.
---It still cost the taxpayers money
The hidden truth of the matter:
---States that follow federal guidelines get funding for every dollar they collect.
---Texas currently get the most of any state
---It now cost the taxpayers billions more than it did before the Child Support Enforcement Act was passed
---Politicians love it because it brings monet t theior state
---Each state decides how to spend this extra cash flow
---Very few (if any) attorney will challenge the state on it's child support program because they all benefit.
The sadness of the issue:
---Many families such as mine have been rippied apart over the hostilities this creates
---Many fathers have become broke, while others have committed suicide
---The very children they claim to protect are the ones that actually get caught in the crossfire.
Finally, I would like to say I'm not opposed to paying child support and never have been. But, I also think that both parents should be accountable for raising their children. That also means more than just providing financial support. Ask any agency and they will tell you they don't get involved in disputes such as visitation or other issues involving divorce. Their sole purpose is to collect and disburse money; but they too see the financial incentives for doing so.
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